V1 Personal Essay Sample 3
In the movie, Mulan, the main character is a young Chinese girl who protects her father by taking his place in China’s army. She shows bravery and courage in her journey to bring honor to her family. Similarly, I am protective of my family and want to make them proud.

 

 Connection

Relates to the character, Mulan, from Mulan.

 

 
When the Chinese official comes to Mulan’s home to tell Mulan’s dad to join the army, Mulan pretends to be a boy and runs away at night to replace him. In doing so, Mulan protects her dad and keeps him alive. In my life, I am also protective of my family, especially my mom. One time, we went to a store in Seattle and a tall American woman started yelling at us because we had dark colored skin. I was so angry, my blood was boiling. I yelled back at the woman and proclaimed that we live in a free country and that racism was wrong. In that moment, I felt like Mulan because the woman walked away in defeat. I had protected my mom from more hurtful words.

 Context 1: Story + Personal Experience

A specific example shows a characteristic of Mulan that compares to the writer’s personal experience.

  • Specific details
  • Comparisons
  • Feelings
  • Outcome
  • Appearance

 
In addition, Mulan tries to bring honor to her family and makes them proud. She does this by winning the war for China against the Huns. She brings home the sword of Shan Yu to represent this honor and pride. Similarly, I work hard to bring honor to my family by being a good student. The best that I can do for my family is get good grades. My parents always spoke highly of a solid education and thought academic achievement brought honor to a family. So, I study every day and attend math and English academies. I do this to pursue my sword of Shan Yu. These good grades will be the foundation for my admission to a top school like Harvard.

Mulan showed her bravery and courage by being protective of her family and having a goal of bringing honor to her family. I think we should all have this same heart and passion in our lives.

 Context 2: Story + Personal Experience

Another specific example shows a second characteristic of Mulan that compares to the writer’s personal experience.

  • Specific details
  • Comparisons
  • Feelings
  • Outcome
  • Appearance

 

 

Click here to view Sample 1
Click here to view Sample 2
Click here to view Sample 4
Click here to view Sample 5
Click here to view Sample 6

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14 thoughts on “V1 Personal Essay Sample 3”

  1. 잘쓴넿ㅎ

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    • ㅇㅈ

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  2. Bad rasism.. ㅠ

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    • Racism

      0

    • ㅇ
      안물

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      • ㅎㅇ 소중한 ㅎㅇㅎㅇ Abe

        1

  3. Good

    3

  4. https://yotu.be/ptM7FzyjtRk

    Avoid words like “good”and “bad” to have a more effective essay.
    Be detailed. Use metaphors, similes and your 5 senses.

    6

    • Soon, it will be my test day for personal essay and IBT toftl. Thank you for your kind tip!! I think I can now do better in personal essay than before. I found how to do it better!!

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  5. Step 1: Brainstorm topic ideas.
    Step 2. Choose a topic idea you like and can easily write about.
    Step 3. Think of supporting details and examples for your topic choice.
    Step 4. Organize your details in an outline. (Main point, reasons, examples, explanation, personal experience)
    Step 5. OK, NOW you are ready to write ^^

    9

    • Aha

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    • Thank you! Useful imformation

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  6. Question:
    How many steps are there to writing?

    Answer:
    MORE than just one step!

    Many people write more effectively if they first brainstorm and plan B4 they write.
    YES! This does take some time, however it saves writing time later, after you have thought about WHAT to write and HOW to organize it.

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