V1 Personal Essay Sample 1
In Toy Story, a new toy named Buzz moves to Andy’s house. Buzz is from space and all the toys want to be his friend. But Buzz is hated by Woody, an old Toy from Andy’s house, for being so popular. Similarly, when I moved to Seoul I was hated by Nick.
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Connection
Relates to the character, Buzz, from Toy Story.
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At Andy’s birthday, all the old toys were excited to see the new toys and play with them. Buzz came from space, with a space suit. He looked very different and talked unlike the others. All the toys wanted to be his friend. Buzz was very happy of his new home. But, Woody soon got jealous and angry because Andy and other toys no longer played with him. So he takes revenge on Buzz by knocking him out of the window. This shocked and hurt Buzz’s feelings. In the end, Buzz forgives Woody and they become good friends. | Context: Story
Specific examples from Toy Story reveal Buzz’s character.
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When I moved to Korea, I was like Buzz. I looked very different in my western-style clothes and spoke English. I made many new friends when I arrived at school because people liked that I was different. I felt very comfortable and happy. But Nick, a student in my class, was jealous of me so he sat in a corner angry. So one day, he took a taxi home with me but got out without paying for the ride. I felt very sad after this, and thought we could not be friends. But just like Buzz did with Woody, I worked to fix the problem. So now, Nick and I are very good friends. | Context: Personal Experience
Description of personal experience is comparable to the story.
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Click here to view Sample 6
I want to backflip out of window
0Is there a “So now” words?
1I was going to use at my skill test next week.
it is the most best essay ever (?)
1안녕하세요
2안녕하세요
1안냐세연
1우ㅏ
1Wow wwwwwwwww……..
0Good
3Oh yes!
3Perfect essay
4Wow excellant
4Good
Yes it is perfect! Exellent!
5Oh yes!
2Nnnnmm
와우
3감사합니다^O^
2Wow fantastic it is nice to exam
3It’s a good example. Thank you.
6same name with me!!
1Good example
2꿀꿀 완전 꿀
3What a great essay it is!
3I love it!
How much loudestbrain is useful!
OMG!!!
2저도 참고할게여
1참고할게염ㅇㅅㅇ
3I like toystory this sample is great to me
2꿀정보 good
1Good writing and no grammar mistakes..
4THANK YOU!!!!! ^^
1Afterward, I think there are two ways to write an essay.
2First way is to write a story and then explaining my experience in the next paragraph.
The other way is to write a comparison between me and the story at the same time in one paragraph, showing various similarities.
Synthetically, there were two ways and these acknowledge helped me a lot.
(I will have a writing test today! Max teacher’s class!!)
Yes. I can see varity of way to write personal essay. I have to use this at my book the ‘graveyard’☺☺☺☺
1GREAT!!!
1Good example! I love it!
1It’s hard but it’s great I think!!^^**
2Good example!!
1GREAT
1Thanks to give me a example!
2Thanks to give me a great example.
3Awsome!!
3Good
5Very good
Hi robin? I am Joon! It is a great sample! Isn’t it?
2I think so.
1쉽게 공부를 할 수 있어서 좋아요!!!
3쌩큐 for excellent essay example.
3I agree. In v1 SA test, we can look very simple.
2Great
1ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
2Oooooooo
2♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
2Good!!!!
1Thanks, It helped me lot
3It is good.
1Thanks, teachers!
^^.
2You are very good at writing. It was very helpful in my writing.
365빠염
1It really helps me!
3NICE BUDD
3Well written!
4IT was good passge.
5The ship go to mars. In there , many organism are in there. They search people can live in mars
1You are very good at writing!!!!!!!!
4Hi. It’s good.
1Good!
2good writing!
2Well written, but having the same experience is rare.
1So, it is unrealistic.
Of course it’s rare, think of it! Almost nobody can have the same experience. That can make the essay more interesting.
4Good personal eassy helps me alot
2Well written, but having the same experience is rare.
1Good
2Wpw, It helps me a lot!
2홍예린~~
2Good
1영어 이름좀
1모두들 손! 지금 302호 손!
1나도 302호다
1나 Alice
1302호
1나 Hans
1나 eddie
2ㅇㅇ
1?
12015 4 17 에 302호 있는 사람 손! 나 kiddy
1ㅋㅋ
1서지민 나도!
1I think this is very good to study. Wow this is nice. In this story, it use toy story. very nice.
2Feel good
2Derek haha
2Useful
3Me too
1I hate toystory.
2This progrem is good
3This progrem is good!
2I like it
4Good
2Useful, but boring
2Helpful
3I think it is good passage^^
5also there has lot of detail
4Goood!
3Greatttttttt!!!!!!!
3Good
2GGGGRRRRREEEEAAAATTTT!!!!!
6Yes
2I agree with 형준
2Good
3진성아!!!!!!ㅋㅋㅋ
6Great
2Good
임진성이 씀
4하이
4Great!
4Good
5Helpful.
4This is incredibly helpful! Thank you!
10Setting up clear settings and characters to prevent any further confusions from the readers. From the beginning of the essay, make sure to be clear with the part/event/character of the book your experience will be related to. Also, I think it is important to use a lot of figurative language or metaphor in personal essays to give readers rooms for imagination and feel like the writer is telling them the story so vividly that he or she is right in front of them. Finally, do not exclude the detailed descriptions of personal feelings and emotions to spice up the story!
7*Using quotations is one of the most effective way to present the character’s traits or situation related to your own experiences. Not only does it enhance your writing, but it defines the idea and key points clearly. With that being said, make sure to do it properly: http://www.wikihow.com/Use-Quotation-Marks
8Using quotations is one of the most effective way to present the character’s traits or situation related to your own experiences. Not only does it enhance your writing, but it defines the idea and key points that you’re trying to define. With that being said, make sure to do it properly: http://www.wikihow.com/Use-Quotation-Marks
6I’ve had kids tell me that they can’t write anything because they didn’t have any life experiences that were similar to specific events that happened to the character in the book. It’d be good to have them, over the course of the few weeks leading up to the essay, think not about specific events but maybe overall feelings or the character as a whole (instead of just the character in certain parts). This might help them plan out their essay when the time comes.
10Use of transitions are critical in an essay where connection and context are key features. They will enhance the flow of the essay greatly. It’s important to review key transition words or terms with students, even if you only review just the basic ones. Always remind them why transitions are important for writing (to connect ideas)!
7Unlike writing for the C2 Personal Essay, the V1 personal essay requires a more contextualized story where the setting and characters are more clear and relatable. Just as this story sample has shown, it is important to provide personal examples that relate closely to the major ideas of the story. For example, the main idea that the story sample illustrates is the reconciliation of feeling alienated; by providing a personal example of overcoming the moving to a new environment, Korea, and then making friends that you had troubles with at the beginning, a personal story that is relevant to the main ideas of the storybook is met.
8Step 1: Brainstorm topic ideas.
6Step 2. Choose a topic idea you like and can easily write about.
Step 3. Think of supporting details and examples for your topic choice.
Step 4. Organize your details in an outline. (Main point, reasons, examples and explanation)
Step 5. OK, NOW you are ready to write ^^
Question:
How many steps are there to writing?
Answer:
MORE than just one step!
Many people write more effectively if they first brainstorm and plan B4 they write.
4YES! This does take some time, however it saves writing time later after you have thought about WHAT to write and HOW to organize it.
THANK YOU JEFFREY
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